Puberty is not just a trying time for children but for parents as well. Often, parents can find themselves unsure of how to bring up the topic or even when. To help make these conversations easier, here are some tips.
Before reaching puberty, there are many things young people need to know:
- When will puberty happen and what body changes will occur?
- Information about hair growing in different places, pimples, body odour and hygiene, breasts, genital changes, periods, wet dreams, erections, masturbation, mood swings, relationships, protective behaviors, gender diversity, body image, peer pressure, pregnancy, conception and birth are all important.
Considering the vast amount of information a child needs to learn, it is important that this process starts from birth so information can be extended as they mature.
Children have a natural curiosity about the world around them, which includes bodies, pregnancy, babies, breast feeding, animal life cycles etc. If parents support this natural curiosity and provide age appropriate information as a child grows, by the time they reach puberty most of these things will already have been discussed and the lines of communication will be open.
This enhances a young person’s feeling of security, confidence and self-esteem which in turn is protective in the event of inappropriate behaviours, bullying, sexual pressures etc.
Sex education is offered in most schools however parents remain the primary providers of sexuality information for their children.
Encouraging healthy attitudes and behaviours:
- Be open and honest with your child from a young age. Listen thoughtfully to their questions and give them the vocabulary and age appropriate information they need;
- If questions are asked at an inappropriate time, make sure you follow up as soon as possible;
- Provide books about puberty – include books with information about the opposite gender, and use these books as a conversation starter;
- Reassure them that the changes of puberty are absolutely normal and natural;
- Let them know there is an age range when puberty can occur and that this is OK;
- Discuss practical aspects of puberty ie What if you get your period at school?, What if you have an erection in a public space?;
- Respect your child’s increased need for privacy - don’t expect your child to tell you everything, they have a right to privacy too;
- Discussion around family values. E.g. respecting other people’s rights (should happen from an early age); and
- Be a good role model to your child - model respectful relationships,positive body image, healthy living, eating and sleeping routines.
Young people who understand how and why their bodies change generally cope better during puberty. They are more comfortable and relaxed which helps their confidence and self-esteem.
And another outcome of good sex education Studies indicate that young people with a greater knowledge of pregnancy, birth and sexual health are more likely to delay their first sexual encounter.
About the EXPERT:
Heather Anderson is a youth health nurse, sexuality educator as well as one of the authors and publishers at the Secret Girls’ Business company, which publishes a range of children’s puberty books. These can be purchased directly from Book Depository via this link.
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