The quirks of marriage:

How often has someone told you that "you have overanalysed a situation", "you think too much", or "stop questioning"? We seem to crave the questions, and the thinking. Letting our mind stop… stop… what is stopping. Can we ever switch it off where the thinking does not happen?

Why is it so hard for us to accept that sometimes there is no answer to the mundane, weird and wonderful, yet quirky traits our partners present us? After years of marriage, the quirks still keep coming in… and we keep questioning…

You would think you know what you are getting yourself into, but then suddenly… “I don’t like asparagus.” Somehow this dislike has miraculously come up, or you haven’t cooked asparagus in years, or last time, he just ate it to please you.

It keeps it interesting, it keeps it entertaining, but at times it is just down right annoying. For years I would find plastic shopping bags just lying around. You would think that after the unpacking, the instinctive next step is to put the bag away. Nope, somehow, the mind works differently and the bag remains.  Finally I think it is trained out of him, but there are the occasions.

So do we expect our men to be and act and think the way we do? The expectation that their instincts and intuition match what we would do? I often wonder why sometimes it is hard to accept the little quirks, the idiosyncrasies instead of trying to change and train the behaviour?

Maybe we unconsciously want something a little different? All I know is that they will be who they are. Men are men. There was certainly some truth when the claims that Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus was published and sold all over the world. They are just different. A one-track mind, with simple answers… sometimes no answer. Maybe the best move we could do is stop trying to change and accept the quirks. Note to my man: you are who you are and I love you for it, even though it sometimes annoys me.

Tahlia Mandie is a psychotherapist, family therapistand blogger at the parenting files – because families mattertalking about relationships, life, parenting and all things family matters.  

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