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Most of us like to think that we’ll do a very good job of taking care of our ageing parents. We imagine ourselves as cool, calm, and collected when the time comes to ask those big questions. Is it suitable for mum or dad to remain at home? Would a care facility be a more secure option? Who would pay for the extra support?
The reality is often much more complicated, because not only are these decisions highly emotional ones, it is common for there to be disagreements among family members. This can make it tough to know which direction to turn, but there are all kinds of different resources and support networks around that can help.
This guide to making the transition and placing an elderly parent into an aged care facility will give you some advice on how to handle the process.
Consider All of the Options
The first thing that you need to do is identify the most suitable living situation for your parents. In many cases, a care home isn’t the only viable option. Better Living Home Care Packages, for example, are funded by the Australian government and designed to help older people remain in their own houses. Instead of moving into an aged care facility, the extra support and physical assistance comes directly to them.
Get Your Parents Involved
If it is quite clear that assisted living isn’t suitable – usually because a parent is struggling with a degenerative mental or physical ailment – then an aged care facility could be the next best step. It is very important that you at least attempt to discuss this with them. Taking away all control is one of the biggest mistakes that older children can make. It leads to anger and feelings of abandonment, so take the time to ask your parents what they think of the idea.
Be Open and Transparent
It is common for parents to get very upset about the prospect of moving into a care home and much of this unhappiness is rooted in the realisation that they’re not fully in control of their own lives anymore. This is a scary prospect and a justified fear. What you can do to soothe concerns is respond positively even if your parents are angry or refusing to take part in the process. Keep talking, bring them brochures and catalogues, and be there to listen when they do decide to speak.
Have Your Parents Checked Out
If you’ve made the decision to go ahead with an aged care facility, it is a really good idea to book your parents in for a full medical exam. This will let you all know if there are any underlying conditions that need to be addressed. It will also help you identify which type of aged care facility will best suit their needs. Do they need monitoring during the night, for example? Are they in the at-risk category for developing diabetes? Are existing physical ailments likely to get worse even with high-quality care?
Schedule a Visit to the Facility
You wouldn’t buy a house or pick a school for your kids without seeing it first, so don’t expect your parents to be happy with a care facility that they’ve never seen before. You must take the time out – or ask a sibling – to tour the home that you’re interested in and give your parents a chance to decide if they like it. This is usually a positive experience and one that helps to facilitate the transition. There are common rooms, group activities, day trips, and all kinds of hobbies and fun stuff.
Why Communication is Key to Choosing the Right Care
A lot of older children attempt to mask their own emotions by rushing through these decisions and not really talking to their parents about the process. Unfortunately, this is a fast track to conflict and it can make the transition much harder. The key is to be open and honest; it is okay for this to be a time of uncertainty and sadness. It is okay to be unsure about what to do, but you need to approach this new phase in all of your lives with positivity and transparency.