I just got back from a lovely weekend away with my husband… just us!! Yep, that’s right, we were childless. After a few dramatic experiences before we left that was for sure telling us that the stars were not aligning for us to have our romantic getaway for two, we managed to work it all out.
As wonderful as it was, and it certainly was, I realised when I got back how hard for some this seemingly easy adventure can be. I am not only talking logistically, I am also talking emotionally. Yes, we miss our children when we are apart, but the thought of possibly separating siblings to make it easier on sitters is too much for some to handle. “I’m having a tough time with that thought”, my sister-in-law tells me. So I wonder, what are the feelings parents go through in order to put the couple-relationship as number one for a couple of nights? Maybe there is guilt for having to leave our children, or even possibly separating siblings? Dread, worry, anxiety….
As natural and normal as these are, maybe it is time to give yourself permission to have time out, focus on you, your partner relationship and have that real “dirty weekend” we all talk about but never do…
Maybe we just need to help the stars align and not come up with the excuses as to why we cannot get away. Maybe the excuses are the real barrier to things not happening, as opposed to fate, the universe and logistical circumstances…
Tahlia Mandie is a psychotherapist and family counsellor. She blogs daily at www.theparentingfiles.com.au
Do you agree that we need to give ourselves permission more often?
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