It was interesting to see the first course in the new Online Learning Centre of the Fair Work Ombudsman (FWO) is on how to handle difficult conversations at work. Of course, having a difficult conversation is often at the heart of the work of the FWO.
Increasingly, however, people at work – whether as the manager or employer or the employee – are in positions where they must have a difficult conversation. It could be about:
1. quality of work performance
2. issues such as punctuality, courtesy and presentation
3. termination of employment, or
4. redundancy.
Even if you never experience the first three, nearly everyone I meet in my role has been through at least one redundancy in their working life. It has happened to me and I work in the industry.
The key to making sure these conversations are as smooth as they possibly can be is to prepare for them.
- What do you want to say? What is the evidence to support it?
- Focus on the issue, not the person. If the manager says something to you such as "No-one likes you", that is not acceptable feedback and you should tell her so.
- Have the discussion in private. It's between you and one other person and it should stay that way.
- Listen to what the other person is saying. It can be difficult, but try to understand their perspective.
- This can also be difficult, but keep emotions in check.
- Be clear about what has been agreed as the next steps. What is the outcome and the timeframe for reviewing progress (if relevant). If you are the employee, ask the manager whether she will be making a written record of the discussion: if so, you should ask to see it before it is finalised.
- Make a written record of the discussion afterwards for yourself. It doesn’t need to be formally on file unless you want it to, but make a note of it so you can refer to it later. Be accurate and reflect both sides of the discussion in your recollection.
Sometimes, it is not difficult to prepare for a difficult conversation – for instance, if someone is sacked on the spot. While that is not supposed to happen, it does, and not always for valid reasons.
Organisations such as the FWO can help people in such situations who earn less than approximately $100,000-$120,000 but not those who earn more than that. I had a client last year who experienced this: called in to the office, given the sack immediately with no reason other than “I can” from his CEO (which, of course, I confirmed with referees). In these situations, my advice is that the best thing to do is negotiate the best exit deal possible but the reality is – thankfully – that most bosses are not that brutal; and the FWO exists to protect those in these situations who do not earn a six figure salary.
The other point is not to avoid difficult conversations if one has to take place. It’s unfair to the employee if they don’t know if something isn’t making a manager happy, and they can’t be expected to take remedial action if they don’t know about it.
I’ve also had situations where a manager of an employee has said to me: “I made it known I was unhappy with her. I kept frowning whenever she said anything.” I pointed out that wasn’t appropriate or fair feedback.
If difficult conversations are handled well, conflicts can be resolved more quickly and relationships at work can be improved. This can result in everyone in the workplace being happier and more productive.
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Find out more about the FWO's free online course via the FWO’s Online Learning Centre. The course is also available in a number of languages.
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