Do you have trouble resisting the enjoyable things in life such as shopping, chocolate or wine even when you know you should?
You’re not alone. Many people try hard to steel ourselves to say “no” and make resolutions every new year but we also fail and become discouraged by, if not angry, with saying “yes” instead.
But according to a new book entitled Willpower: Why self-control is the secret to success, it may not be entirely your fault.
Co-author Roy Baumeister says that many people feel overwhelmed “because there are more temptations than ever to seduce us and distract us from our goals.”
As an example, he says that while you may have turned up at work on time today, and put in the hours at the desk, there are so many easy distractions.
"You can put off any job by checking email or Facebook, surfing gossip sites or playing a video game. You can do enough damage in a 10-minute shopping spree online at the office to wreck your budget for the rest of the year."
He and fellow author, John Tierney, who've spent years researching willpower found that people spend at least a fifth of their waking hours (3-4 hours daily) resisting desires, which doesn't include the time spent using willpower to make decisions. The most commonly resisted desire, in one study they examined, was the urge to eat, followed by the urge to sleep, break off from work, succumb to sexual urges, and finally surf the web or watch television.
Generally, people were relatively effective at avoiding naps, sex and the urge to spend money, only mediocre at passing up food and soft drinks, but failed nearly half the time on resisting the lure of TV and the web.
But Baumeister says improving personal willpower is a great way of getting a better life, whether it be for something personal or in your career – and, like everything, he says we can improve it by exercising it.
"However you define success, it can't be achieved without first mastering self-control and exercising willpower," he says.
"Acquiring self-control isn't as magically simple as the techniques in self-help books imply, nor is exercising it as grim as the Victorians made it out to be.
"Ultimately, it takes practice and self-awareness but the rewards are huge. Improved self-control will let you relax because it removes stress, enabling you to conserve willpower for the important challenges.
"Toning up your willpower will help you lead a more productive and fulfilling life and one which is easier and happier."