Everyone has felt unhappy at times of struggle and stress, but many people have felt a lack of fulfilment or a sense of unhappiness in their lives even when achieving their deepest dreams and desires. This leads people to question why they are still not satisfied, further enhancing feelings of guilt and even depression.
Nicole T. Harcourt, best-selling author, life stylist and founder of Evolved Life Visions, has experienced this feeling of dread and actively made changes to her life to overcome these negative feelings. She created Evolved Life Visions, a life coaching program, in order to help others get past their own barriers and find their true life path. Over the past 15 years Nicole has helped A-list movie stars and celebrities, royalty, major corporations, elite athletes and overall high performers find fulfilment in their lives again. Throughout her career she has dealt with many seemingly successful clients expressing their feelings of discontentment. She has shared the five main reasons people feel unfulfilled and from her experience, what they can do to fix it.
1. Living in your comfort zone
“Do you ever wake up and wish you could press the snooze button on the next day, week or even year? Are you feeling a lack of enthusiasm, excitement or interest in what lies ahead? Well you’re not alone. Many of my clients over the years have felt like this. The reason people feel this way is because they are stuck in their own comfort zone and are seeking fulfilment in all the wrong places. Their vision of success is based on superficial needs. I have had some of the most successful people in the world come to see me as they think that when they reach their goal, then they will be happy. However, they haven’t based this on how they will feel or how they will grow as a person from attaining the goal. For example, a new car could be a goal however what is the motivation behind this? Is it need or greed? How will you feel when you reach this goal? Is it going to make your life better? Happier? Or is it only feeding your ego? Or pleasing those who have certain expectations of you? Asking these questions adds substance to each goal. By weighing all of your goals against growth and emotional development it will satisfy your internal goals, and lead to a sense of fulfilment. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.“
2. Too much negativity
“Do you constantly compare yourself to others with feelings of envy and feel a sense of failure? If so, you are seeking outside approval in all you do because your inner voice is negative and therefore not listening to your true goals and desires. All of these things combined can lead to stress and anxiety. In a day and age of social media in which everyone is encouraged to compare themselves to others, it can be hard to accept ourselves as we are and feel content. By finding what makes you feel good and learning the latest Evolved Guided Visualisation Techniques (EGVT) you will be able to learn what your true potential is. Accept that failure is a part of life and that it helps people to discover a new path and opens up new opportunities. When you finally realise that you’re not in a place you want to be in your life, you will fall in line with your true life purpose and your attitude and reality will begin to transform. It is about taking small steps in the right direction in both your heart, soul and mind.”
3. Not having a purpose
“Sometimes when people are so used to feeling unfulfilled and have felt that way for a long time they don’t know how to change. I always advise my clients that they need to envisage their goals and then learn how to take baby steps towards those goals. As we often hear, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were our dreams but we can live a full life by always following our true life goals and making sure we are continuously making pathways to those goals. Using techniques such as guided questions will open up self-awareness and allow you to find your life path. We need to open up our minds and listen to our inner voice and follow our heart. Doing this will create a stronger bond with ourselves and make us more capable of overcoming obstacles along the way.”
4. Fear of taking risks
“When people are stuck in a rut or are unhappy, they have the ability to change but change can be associated with taking risks which many people are afraid of. It is this fear that holds people in their comfort zone. However, when people are able to visualise their dreams and goals they can build the courage to overcome the associated risks. Many of my clients over the years have lived ‘fairy-tale’ lives but were still unhappy. In order for them to find their true life path they had to risk this lifestyle they worked so hard to obtain. However, what I have found is when they tune into what their heart, mind and soul really want and chase it, their lives are so much richer and happier than they were before.”
5. Not asking for help or seeking help
“86% of all people never find fulfilment as they can't reach their goals because they haven't programmed their brain accordingly. In neuroscience the ego - the same part of the brain which controls the fight or flight mode - resists change. It resists change as it thinks your current status is the safest way to operate and is only tuned to move on a flight or fight reaction. Which is why it is so hard to change and the brain will resist forming new neural pathways as 1. the brain doesn’t want to upset the status quo and 2. the brain, unless directed towards a goal, doesn’t understand what it needs to do to get there. The brain actually needs to be rewired with new patterns which is the key to success and lasting transformation. When children are growing up they need assistance and encouragement in order to learn, it is the same as we grow older, we need help in order to find the right path.”
ABOUT THE EXPERT
Evolved Life Visions is a life coaching service that guides people through major life changes, including financial worries, relationship woes and more. The program was established by number one international best-selling author, motivational speaker, TV presenter and life stylist, Nicole T. Harcourt.
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