Forget-me-not:

Even though I am middle aged, it is only recently that I have begun to write. 

I would like to say that this recent desire to write is due to an inner yearning. Truthfully, I write out of fear.

My father now in his mid 70s, has Alzheimer’s Disease. He has been affected for many years. 

Living in 2013, there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, although many wonderful scientists are working very hard to find one - or at least a delayed onset or reduced effects. 

I live in fear that, over the next ten years, I too will start to show symptoms of this awful disease.

My sons know how very loved and cherished they are. While they are still teenagers now, they have had a lovely childhood. I worry that I will not be able to recall to them the funny things that they did, or how I saw their growing years through my eyes. 

I want them to know how much thought I put into my parenting of them. While making mistakes and not always getting things right, it was always done with love and their best interests at heart.

I leave my thoughts in the forms of blogs, so that there is something for them to come back to, should they want or need to; that while they might still have the physical me around, the deadness in my eyes, and searching for words may not be able to answer the questions they seek.

I am sure that my children and friends think that I am a little crazy - perhaps even self-indulgent - to start to write blogs of things that are currently part of my day-to-day life. They are of nothing significant or special, other than a mother’s love for her children and husband, friends and family.

But I sleep a little better at night not having to worry quite as much about me having Alzheimer’s; that my written words will live on into the future, far longer than me. Even if I am spared from the Alzheimer’s curse, I am hoping that my blogs will be a lovely memory for what may well be just normal ageing. Like photo albums of the past, it is reminder to myself of my feelings right now, and how I muddled my way through my children’s teenage years, and my own middle life.

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You can donate money to Alzheimer's Australia to help fight dementia here.