On Valentine’s Day, it’s timely to think about the ingredients that make a long-term relationship tick, especially with the Australian divorce rate hovering around 35%.
Relationship experts agree that acknowledging and celebrating the good things about a partner is vital – not just on Valentine’s Day, but on every day of the year.
“While there is no magic formula to making relationships last, there are a few approaches that can help,” says Lyn Fletcher, Director at Relationships Australia.
Ms Fletcher says couples counselling can be a great investment in your relationship whether things are going swimmingly or coming off the rails.
- Recognise that a relationship is a triangle. There’s ‘me’, ‘you’ and ‘us’ and each of those needs attending.
- Make time for ‘us’ and spend time apart. Don’t let ‘me’ get lost in the romantic ‘we’.
- You have to work at a relationship, and you both have to want to make it work. That doesn't mean it's difficult, but you shouldn't take your partner or the relationship for granted.
- Approach conflict peacefully. This means being willing to be wrong and to give in as well as having an agreement in place about how to ‘do conflict’.
- Accept that it is not your job to change your partner and that any attempts to do so will fuel resentment on both sides (and generally fail).
- Be kind and generous to each other, be mindful of the little things and don’t forget important dates – like Valentine’s Day.
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