This is not the advice in the parenting books – this is advice you take when you have ditched aspirations of perfection and are simply in survival mode.
1. Never wake a sleeping child.
2. If they are not bothering you don’t bother them (admittedly this is how my kitchen came to be painted pink – but it was old and needed a facelift).
3. Children don’t die from four nights in a row eating Two-Minute Noodles for dinner (they also never ask for Two-Minute Noodles again).
4. Embrace young children’s desire to run around naked – it’s less washing and trust me by the time they get to school they will conform – peer pressure is a good thing.
5. The Wiggles are your friends and playing their DVD’s in a continuous loop for days on end might deprive you of vital brain cells but the kids will turn out fine.
6. A child increasing their vocabulary is a source of pride – when the words are swear words just learn to speak loudly over the top of them.
7. Children come with their own personalities – resistance is futile – and it’s OK, gumboots with a fairy skirt and a bikini top will one day top the Paris fashion scene I promise.
8. Today’s crisis will be tomorrow’s non-event. The fact that Sara ditched them as a friend today and wouldn’t share her ice-cream will be forgotten tomorrow when they beg to have Sara for a sleepover because she is their BEST FRIEND.
9. Wearing your trakkie daks and Ugg boots to the shops will not actually end the world – one day you will get the energy to dress yourself properly again but it doesn’t matter if that’s not today.
10.Whatever works for you is what you do. Breast feeding/bottle feeding – c’mon look around the room can you pick who was breastfed? Public school/private school. Stay at home/go back to work. Everyone has an opinion but it’s just that an opinion not a rule of law. It’s what makes you happy that matters
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