Kerryn Boogaard Kerryn Boogaard
Beverly Goldsmith Beverly Goldsmith
Zoe Bingley-Pullin Zoe Bingley-Pullin

A secure base:

A Secure Base is vital for all children from birth onwards. Did you know that only a startling 60% of children are classified as Securely Attached? Leaving almost half of children with an Insecure Attachment Style.
By Jessica Ryan-Zenman
Date: October 27 2011
Tags:
Editor Rating:
baby_and_hand

A Secure Base is vital for all children from birth onwards.  Did you know that only a startling 60% of children are classified as Securely Attached? Leaving almost half of children with an Insecure Attachment Style.  Securely attached children have higher self-esteem and they generally make friends more easily, perform better in school and go on to have much more satisfying and lasting intimate relationships.  Attachment styles are long lasting and have long-term consequences for adulthood. Insecure attached children can often have relationship problems, depression, anxiety, addictions and poor self-esteem in their adulthood.

The first five years are key in forming a secure attachment with your child. Making yourself a secure base for your child to explore and interact with the world from is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

Here are some tips to help guide you in providing a secure base for your child:

  • Make sure your child has plenty of physical contact with you, touch is an amazing communication tool and displaying plenty of warmth towards your child through touch is vital for them to feel loved and good about themselves.
  • Tell your child that you love them, tell them often, you can’t tell them enough!
  • Your child’s sense of self and self-esteem grows from what you give them.
  • Make sure your child knows they are special to you and valued just for being them. There has been a lot of controversy lately over not praising your child too much or telling them they are special because you could be encouraging narcissism. I completely disagree with this. A child needs to know they are special to you no matter what and regardless of what they do, don’t do, what they are good at or not good at. They need to know they are good enough just as they are. Doing this will actually encourage them to be loving and giving towards others and be less narcasstic because they are able to validate themselves and don’t constantly crave the external validation.
  • Always validate your child’s feelings, very young children often can’t manage the huge emotional rollercoaster that is part of toddlerhood. They need you to recognise what they are feeling, name it for them and soothe them. Never punish your child for having a feeling. It’s been said that when children are behaving “badly” they often need your love and understanding the most and I think this is very true.
  • If you have a baby, always always say goodbye to them if you have to separate. I know it’s tempting to sneak away for fear of upsetting them but when they notice you have gone and they will, they often feel betrayed and doing this repeatedly damages their ability to trust you.

 

*A book that’s great for helping babies to cope with separation is “Owl Babies” by Martin Waddell and Patrick Benson. It’s brilliant!

 

Jessica Ryan-Zeman

Jessica is a member of CAPA (the Counsellors and Psychotherapists Association of NSW) with a Bachelor of Psychology from the University of Sydney and near completing her Masters of Applied Psychotherapy and Counselling from the Jansen Newman Institute.   Jessica currently works part time for a private psychiatric hospital in Sydney and has extensive experience working with a wide range of presenting problems.

For more information go to: http://www.sydneycounsellingandpsychotherapy.org/index.html

 

Share This Tweet This Email To Friend
Recent Comments
4 Total Comments
Men Shoes says: 2018 04 12
Rating:

As a blogger, I am sure that you would like your blog to make some serious noise online. You want people to talk about it and you want your visitors to recommend it to their friends and family members.Men Shoes

garrys mod free says: 2018 04 16
Rating:

Pleasant post, stay aware of this fascinating work. It’s a great idea for you to be on the safe side. garrys mod free

Formal Shoes Pakistan says: 2018 04 25
Rating:

The blogging scene has become more worldwide than ever, with a vast array of competitive topics. Even with the ever-rising social networks, the BLOG will always have its distinct place on the Internet. In retrospect, what platforms are more widely used than others.Formal Shoes Pakistan

web development says: 2018 05 04
Rating:

If you need to select a blogging platform to create a new blog, you will be able to choose from numerous options. Different types of bloggers are able to avail varying benefits from each of these platforms, but if you are a beginner, then the right the Blogger platform is the right blogging platform for you. You might be curious why Blogger is appropriate for you.web development

View All Comments
Post a Comment
* your email address will not appear

Please enter the word you see in the image below:


Post a Comment
* your email address will not appear

Please enter the word you see in the image below:33343


Your Comment has been posted
Cry babies

Dry your eyes!
The newest additions are on their way from the Babies who cry real tears!

Shipping-containers-freight-wallpaper-preview

Latest Tech Used In Shipping Containers
Read how the shipping industry has revolutionised

Motherpedia cover-2

Win 1 set of a 4-book hardcover illustrated boxed set
Barbara Murray’s new 4-book Sound Stories is perfect for parents and educators and could assist with NAPLAN results

Motherpedia cover (4)

Where to celebrate Oktoberfest Australia
Get ready for this celebration!

Motherpedia cover-4

A Fortnight of Foodie Experiences at East Village
A taste of East Village. What's in it for me?

Globber my too fix up cover

We Try: Globber My TOO Fix Up
A scooter that grows with your child

Throw a winning cricket pitch

3 Steps to a Winning Backyard Cricket Pitch
Ex-Adelaide Oval legend curator Les Burdett shares his tips for getting your backyard cricket pitch test match ready this summer

A bike that follows your kids life cycle - motherpedia - cover

A Bike That Follows Your Kids Life Cycle
Check out the Bunzi 2-in-1 gradual balance bike!

Moonlight lifestyle

Moonlight Cinema to bring…
Moonlight Cinema announces brand new Western Sydney venue

Screen shot 2019-11-26 at 8.29.12 am

Your Magical Christmas Wonderland…
Adventure park is about to light up the night sky with its "Christmas Festival of Lights"

Screen shot 2019-11-21 at 11.11.36 am

The Preston Market Gets…
It's time to feel pumped up for the holiday season!

Bruno-kelzer-zqzuigxcvrq-unsplash

Bunnings team members get…
Help raise funds by buying a snag or donating at your local store.